The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
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