Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
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