Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
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