She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
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