If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
Randomize
