8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
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