I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
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He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
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I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
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