Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
Randomize
