Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
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