He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
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