i took some ambien and I TRIPPED out...i went into my mom's room to say goodnight and i don't remember anything...she said that i got really pissed at her because we were living in the Keebler elf tree and she was visiting other trees, then i started laughing hysterically and she goes "whats so funny?" and i go "there are 7 people sitting on my knees" and she goes "doesn't that hurt?" and i said "no we're sitting in a bowl" and then i capped it off and said "join the crazy train bro" and passed out.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
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