Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
But break dance skills will only take you so far
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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