Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
Randomize
