okay pat passed out under dana's car
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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