So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
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I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
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Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
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