HIV tests are more positive than that guy
I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
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