LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
