why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
