Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
Randomize
