Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Randomize