Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Randomize
