Your tits are I can't wait for
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
Randomize
