That's intense
Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.
Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
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