:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
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