i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
Randomize
