You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Randomize
