Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
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