Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
Randomize
