Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
Randomize
