I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
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