i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
I just made out with a guy for $7.
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
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