Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
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