I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
Randomize
