i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
Randomize
