if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
Randomize
