Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
Randomize
