Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
