Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
