you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
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