I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Randomize