Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
Randomize