If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Randomize
