News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.
Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
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