Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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