Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
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