We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
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