The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
Randomize
