It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
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