I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
You may now shotgun with the bride
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
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