I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
Randomize
