Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
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