In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
accomplished twins. life is a go
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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