How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
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