Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
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