dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
