just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
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So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
Is that strawberry winking at me??
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.