We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
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