Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
pray to the hookup gods
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
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